“Writing the Apocalypse” is a weekly series featuring the poems of Puma Perl, with subject matter influenced by her experiences as a NYC resident during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Charlie Time | By Puma Perl

I wake at 3:56 AM

Alone in the bunker

Sleeping has become napping

The minutes disappear

like hours at the Spahn Ranch

On my calendar a drag queen

named Joey dances

over the month of February

I don’t flip the page

My datebook is useless

Everything is canceled

 

I don’t remember what day it is

but I know it’s 4:02 AM

I surrender to wakefulness

and try to photograph

the empty highway

but it’s too dark

and the river is black

I drink ginger tea

and turn to social media

for advice or companionship

 

Nobody is around

I come across the note

about Alan Merrill

written by his daughter

Another friend gone,

hearts breaking

in his departure

 

I return to the window,

the empty highway,

the river’s blackness

 

I think about the AIDS pandemic

Attending wakes and funerals,

sometimes two in one day

Today there are no funerals

The dying no longer give us

the gift of touching their souls

when all of the outside is stripped

away and all that is left is themselves

 

I circle my Lower East Side bunker

20 steps from the front door

to the kitchen window

with its makeshift curtains

and broken shade

30 steps to the bedroom

where I once photographed

the full moon sitting

on the Williamsburg Bridge

37 steps back to the living room,

past the dog’s empty bed

She is not here either

 

I’m alone in the bunker

and I don’t know how to do this

I know only that it’s 4:17AM

and it means as much or as little

as the clocks that stopped ticking

for Charlie Manson’s girls.

© puma perl, 04/02/2020

 

Puma Perl is a poet and writer, with five solo collections in print. The most recent is Birthdays Before and After (Beyond Baroque Books, 2019.) She is the producer/creator of Puma’s Pandemonium, which brings spoken word together with rock and roll, and she performs regularly with her band Puma Perl and Friends. She’s received three New York Press Association awards in recognition of her journalism, and is the recipient of the 2016 Acker Award in the category of writing. Her most recent books can be found by clicking here.

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