PETIT LARCENY: Black (Laundry) Bag Job | A 43-year-old man thought he could pull the wool over the eyes of employees at 455 W. 37th St.’s Duane Reade, but ended up getting collard by the fuzz. The man was arrested just after noon on Sat., April 20, when he was caught leaving the store with $246 worth of cleaning supplies, placed in a black laundry bag. The laundry list of items comprising this dirty deed reveal a fellow fixated on name brands. Multiple items from the product lines of Lysol, Chlorex, Formula 409, and Tilex were found in the bag—assuring that, had he escaped unnoticed, his carpets would be clean, his shower would be free of mildew, and his countertops would be thoroughly disinfected. On the bright side, the metal bars on all four sides of his new dwelling require very little maintenance.

LOST PROPERTY: The Cost of Not Doing a Quick Scan | On Sat., April 20, around 1:30am, a traffic agent was dropping off a car at the NYPD tow pound (408 12th Ave. at W. 38th St.), and put his scanner on the back of the town truck bed. Upon completion of the drop-off, he drove away into the night (or, more accurately, the early morning), not realizing the scanner was still on the back of the truck. He eventually exited the vehicle, only to discover the device was nowhere in sight. It’s unclear as to whether any crime was committed, other than the somewhat forgivable sin of forgetfulness.

PETIT LARCENY: Menthol is Cool, Crime is Not | Respecting boundaries is part of what keeps a society civil. But the male perp who walked into the 7-Eleven at 246 W. 23rd St. (btw. 7th & 8th Aves.) around 8:50pm on Tues, April 16, must have stayed home from school on the day that particular lesson was taught. Employees of the store say the perp went behind the counter and removed two packs of cigs (a box of Newports, and a box of Newport Lights), then fled eastbound on 23rd St. The suspect, unfortunately, was not able to be smoked out. (Menthol may linger on the clothes, but it quickly dissipates in the open air.)

–By Scott Stiffler

THE 10th PRECINCT: Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. 7th & 8th Aves.). Commanding Officer: Capt. Kevin Coleman. Main number: 212-741-8211. Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-924-3377. Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. Let your community policing issues be heard, at the monthly Community Council meeting, where Chelsea residents can hear the latest crime stats, ask questions, and get public safety tips. The meeting is normally helmed by the Precinct’s Commanding Officer, Capt. Kevin J. Coleman; the Council president is Larry O’Neill. The Council meets on the last Wed. of the month, 7pm, at the 10th Precinct. For more information, call the Community Affairs Office, at 212-741-8226. The main number is 212-741-8211. On Twitter: ‪@NYPD10Pct. On Facebook: www.facebook.com/NYPD10PCT.

MIDTOWN SOUTH PRECINCT: Located at 357 W. 35th St. (btw. 8th &9th Aves.). Commanding Officer: Deputy Inspector Brendan Timoney. Call 212-239-9811. Community Affairs: 212-239-9846. Crime Prevention: 212-239-9846. Domestic Violence: 212-239-9863. Youth Officer: 212-239-9817. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-239-9836. Detective Squad: 212-239-9856. The Community Council meets on the third Thurs. of the month, 7 p.m., at the New Yorker Hotel (481 Eighth Ave., btw. W. 34th & 35th Sts.). For more info, visit midtownsouthcc.org.

THE 13th PRECINCT: Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. Second & Third Aves.). Commanding Officer: Deputy Inspector Steven M. Hellman. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212-477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30 p.m., at the 13th Precinct.

CASH FOR GUNS | $100 cash will be given (no questions asked) for each handgun, assault weapon or sawed-off shotgun, up to a maximum payment of $300. Guns are accepted at any Police Precinct, PSA or Transit District.

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