NOTE: Originally scheduled to shutter in Auguat, The Laurie Beechman Theatre will remain open through September. For the Beechman’s public performance calendar, clIck here.

When word got out a few weeks ago that West Bank Cafe (opened on West 42nd Street in 1978) would be closing its doors this month, that meant the same fate would await its iconic downstairs performance space, The Laurie Beechman Theatre. In its uniquely positioned lifetime, the space welcomed staged plays, musical acts, and occasional spectacle (Howard Stern aired his third-annual live birthday broadcast from there). In recent years, it became a welcome home when a queen from RuPaul’s Drag Race came to town with a solo show in tow (Honey Davenport, Jackie Coxx, Shangela, Alaska, and BenDeLaCreme among them). And although she’s not a Drag Race alum, former NYC queen Jackie Beat, now ensconsed in LA, has Beechman cred eclipsing all other queens (and all others, period). Having premiered a staggering 30 shows at The Beechman over the years (many of them sold out), Beat returns for one last time on August 18, 7pm & 9:30pm, with JACKIE BEAT: THE GOODBYE GURL. The show will draw from past premieres, including And the Beat Goes On, No Filter, Jerk in Progress and Menstrual Krampus. Chelsea Community News recently quizzed the witty, worldly queen known for her profane parodies of popular songs. And with that, here’s our telling Q&A with the quiptastic Jakie Beat.

Scott Stiffler for Chelsea Community News (CCNews): You’ve premiered 30 shows at the Beechman. Was whittling down that list of material for The Goodbye Gurl daunting, easy, somewhere in between?

Jackie Beat (Jackie): My solo shows are always more cabaret than theater, so I often say that putting one together is like stringing beads to make a necklace…but my beautiful beads are actually filthy songs! Also, my shows are part stand-up comedy and part concert. Now, when it comes to comedy, people—especially Gay men—want new. But when it comes to a concert, people want to hear the “hits.” So, it’s always a balance of tried-and-true, proven material and brand spanking new stuff. But in light of the situation, this show might just be all classics. Oh my God, did I even answer the question!?

CCNews: If you took all the good stuff on the cutting room floor, how many other Beechman farewell shows would you have? Is there some kind of loophole wherein the Beechman can’t shut down so long as you don’t leave the stage and keep premiering new farewell shows?

Jackie: Yes, this show is very much like the plot of that ’90s action movie Speed and I am Sandra Bullock. Just so long as I keep driving that bus—and I don’t let the show go below 50 miles an hour—this legendary, iconic performance space can stay open forever. That’s a lot of pressure on me!

CCNews: What year did you begin playing the Beechman? How has the neighborhood/city changed since then? How have you changed since then?

Jackie: I believe my first time there was a holiday show called Alchoholidays in 2009. Seeing how the venue has been open over 46 years, that 15 years seems like a mere blink of an eye. But when you also consider how performance spaces and drag queens seem to come and go these days, it seems like quite an epic achievement. It’s like being married to J.Lo… If you manage to last even one year, you are to be commended and should be very proud of yourself! And just to clarify, I love J.Lo. We even share the same birthday. Turns out if you’re born on July 24, you get a big ass. And you get to have sex with Ben Affleck. But I’m not really allowed to talk about that because I signed a DNR.

CCNews: Do any/some/all of the shows strongly reflect where sex, showbiz, pop culture, politics, etc. were at the time? If so, how so?

Jackie: Oh yes, of course! I remember writing a parody of that song Eye of the Tiger as I Slept With Tiger the very same day the Tiger Woods cheating scandal first broke. People freaked. They were like, “Wait, this just happened!” That’s where being loose and casual—and using a music stand for your cheat sheet—really comes in handy! I also turned that awful Steve Miller song Abracadabra into Osama Bin Laden. I have so many songs I can’t really sing anymore because they were all about a very specific moment in time. Like when I turned Bette Davis Eyes into Kirsty Alley Thighs. She, like Bin Laden, is dead now. And sadly, those hilarious songs died with them.

CCNews: The press release promises you’ll revisit some “worst performances.” Can you walk us through 1 or 2—was it the material, the execution, tech problems, the audience?

Jackie: Any less-than-stellar performance of mine has always been solely my fault, but…as an egotistical Leo, I always blame it on the tech person or the audience. Don’t trust—let alone pay to see—any well-adjusted, easy-going drag queen! All joking aside, I have learned that some of my least successful attempts at humor have often turned out to be the funniest moments of my career. So there will certainly be a few painful memories in this show about bombing because you simply have to embrace that part of it. I once did David Bowie’s Major Tom as Major Bomb about songs that seemed like such a great idea at the time, but crashed and burned. The audience loves to see a performer be human.

CCNews: Let’s play a game called Sweeping Generalizations: Are there things about the Beechman and/or NYC audiences that set them apart from other venues/towns you’ve played?

Jackie: The truth is that they are not only sophisticated, but for some reason they seem to value live performance more than any other city. Maybe NYC audiences just really need to escape from their brutal, exhausting lives, who knows? All I know is that they really are the best audiences in the world, and the Beechman audiences are even greater. Maybe because the venue is so warm and welcoming and the food and cocktails are great. Often times, you have to tolerate subpar food and watered down drinks to see a great show, but The Beechman has always been the Goldilocks of NYC performance spaces: It’s just right.

CCNews: Have you experienced any “anomalies” during Beechman performances, i.e. laughter or audible reactions to a part of the show that never got that  before? Conversely, did something flop that usually killed? Do you recall any improvised quips, saves, or audience interactions that became “keepers”?

Jackie: My favorite memory is probably the first time I ever sang my parody of Bryan Adams’ Heaven as Seven, about dating a 7 year-old. It’s absolutely ridiculous and I am obviously making fun of the person who thinks that is a valid relationship worthy of reverence and respect. It’s beyond outrageous. What can I say? It was a different time. Way before all this drag queen grooming and indoctrination bullshit. Well, when I first sang the line, “I’m finding it hard to believe you’re just seven” this man abruptly and dramatically stood up, waved his arms around while huffing and puffing, and then stormed out. I later learned he told the manager that he worked in child protective services and that even singing or joking about such things was against the law and that he was calling the police. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but he never returned to his seat and the police never arrived. Too bad, because you really can’t buy publicity like that!

CCNews: Any lasting memories, life lessons, miscellaneous thoughts, and/or anecdotes, regarding off-stage aspects of the room such as tech rehearsals, pre-show rituals, meet-and-greets, Beechman drinks, menu items, staff, etc.?

Jackie: Just that a lot of places are great venues, and a lot of places have great staff and management, and a lot of places have great food and drinks. But very few places have it all like The Beechman. The planets really aligned with that venue. I do remember once during one of my holiday shows I said, “Let’s hear it for these gorgeous Christmas decorations!” Of course there was no such decorations—not one single ornament or jingle bell. And then I said, “You know what? I want to speak to this Laurie Beechman after the show!” Another time, at the pinnacle of my popularity, I had done three holiday shows in one night and was absolutely exhausted and starving so the venue packed up some food for me. Not to throw anyone under the bus, but… The person who packed my to-go order neglected to include any utensils or napkins. An honest mistake, right? But I want you to picture me, later that night in my hotel room, totally naked, still in my makeup, eating orzo mac & cheese with my bare hands. It’s not a pretty picture!

CCNews: Not to get morbid, but are there other venues you’ve played that are no longer with us? If so, what did their presence contribute, and what about their absence is felt?

Jackie: Quite a few actually. I used to joke that if I played a particular venue its days were definitely numbered. Fez and The Cutting Room are the ones that immediately come to mind. And now sadly, The Laurie Beechman. But you really can’t blame me. I mean, under all this makeup and the giant wig, I am a white cisgender male so I refuse to be held responsible for anything I’ve done.

CCNews: Please use this space to talk about anything on your mind not covered in the above questions, and thanks for your time.

Jackie: I’ve mentioned my annual holiday show several times during this interview so it only makes sense that I will definitely be doing at least one of my sick and twisted holiday parodies in this final show. After all, the only thing more important than the birth of the baby Jesus is properly saying goodbye to one of the best performance spaces in the history of NYC nightlife.

“Jackie Beat: The Goodbye Gurl” is performed Sunday, August 18, 7pm & 9:30pm at the Laurie Beechman Theatre (inside the West Bank Cafe at 407 W. 42nd St. at Ninth Ave.). The 7pm show is already sold out. There is a $25 food/drink minimum Tickets are $26 general admission, $45 for VIP tix (reserved seating & meet-and-greet). For ticket purchase, click here. To visit Jackie Beat’s website, click here. 

JACKIE BEAT BIO: The award-winning drag darling has been wowing unsuspecting audiences since 1989. She has toured with Roseanne Barr—as the comic legend’s opening act—including a 7-week run at The New York New York in Las Vegas; written for TV (Fashion Police, Hello Ross, Hype! and others) and collaborated on special material with the like of Roseanne, Rosie O’Donnell and Jennifer Coolidge; appeared in countless TV shows (Sex and the City, Celebrity Family Feud, Huluween Dragstravaganza, Drag Me To Dinner and her own show on OUTtv, Dr. Jackie: Unlicensed Psychotherapist, featuring gay icons and allies Debbie Harry, Margaret Cho, Jane Lynch, Neil Patrick Harris, Parker Posey, Cecily Strong, Bridget Everett, Michelle Visage, Jane Wiedlin, Alec Mapa & more, movies (Grief, Wigstock The Movie, Flawless, Adam & Steve, Stage Mother, and Chris Pine’s Poolman) and Off-Broadway hits (Valley of the Dolls, Tell-Tale!). She has been named Best Drag Queen by New York Press and Best Live Performance by HX Magazine. Jackie is also a columnist, lead singer for the electro-rock band Dirty Sanchez, and the subject of the documentary film My Name is Jackie Beat including commentary from Joan Rivers, Margaret Cho, and Roseanne.

BEECHMAN BIO: West Bank Cafe opened on West 42nd Street in 1978 at a time when Hell’s Kitchen lived up to its name. Owner Steve Olsen opened The Laurie Beechman Theatre downstairs from the Cafe, which staged plays and hosted events nightly. A young Lewis Black was named playwright-in-residence; Howard Stern aired his third-annual live birthday broadcast from the theater; and the restaurant’s regulars included Tennessee Williams, Arthur Miller and Bruce Willis, among others. It has been a launching pad for countless Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, Tony, and MAC Award-winning musicians, actors, comedians, and writers. The Beechman stage is where Joan Rivers performed her final set, where the original cast of Sunday in the Park With George rehearsed, where the Tony Award-winning play Side Man debuted, where Aaron Sorkin’s first two works were produced, where The Who gave four live performances while their musical Tommywas debuting on Broadway, and where countless stars of RuPaul’s Drag Race (including Jinkx Monsoon, Jackie Beat, Sherry Vine, Shangela, Alaska, Courtney Act, BenDeLaCreme, Trixie Mattel, Latrice Royale, and Alyssa Edwards) premiered shows. And where countless Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, Tony, and MAC Award-winning artists have developed and performed new works.

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