LGBTQ+ Wedding Bells and Blessings, in New York State

St. John’s Lutheran Church welcomes gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, their spouses, partners and their families. | Photo by Rania Richardson

BY RANIA RICHARDSON | The infamous true crime story that inspired Sidney Lumet’s 1975 film, Dog Day Afternoon, shines a light on a same-sex couple from the time.

In the film, the character Sonny Wortzik (played by Al Pacino, based on John Wojtowicz), having married female-identified Leon Shermer (played by Chris Sarandon, loosely based on Ernest Aron) in an unofficial ceremony, decides to finance his partner’s gender reassignment surgery by robbing a Brooklyn bank during the sultry “dog days” of summer.

Flash forward to 2011, when New York’s Marriage Equality Act was signed into law, and that “unofficial ceremony” could have been a formal, state-sanctioned union for the same-sex couple. It could even have been a religious ceremony, as a number of houses of worship welcomed gay partners to seal their union with them.

Among religious leaders and groups, it’s the detractors, not the allies, who have traditionally received the lion’s share of attention. Just a few weeks ago, on June 1, Rhode Island Bishop Thomas Tobin warned, on Twitter, “Catholics should not support or attend LGBTQ ‘Pride Month’ events” because they are contrary to the faith. Statements like these, perhaps unfairly, paint organized religion in general as antithetical to the LGBTQ+ community.

Close observers will see another perspective.

According to GLAAD.org, “There are many places of worship in New York that are excited about participating in marriage equality.” These include churches, synagogues, congregations, community centers, mosques, temples, and worship centers that can host a same-sex wedding and bless the marriage.

In New York City, couples must obtain a marriage license at the City Clerk’s office before they can legally wed. In brief, couples who reside anywhere in the U.S. can apply for a marriage license online and then go to the New York City Clerk’s Office to complete the application process. After a 24-hour waiting period (and within 60 days) with the license, a valid, government-issued ID, a witness over 18, and payment of fees, the City Clerk may perform a civil marriage ceremony. Alternatively, couples may have a clergy member or judge perform the ceremony anywhere in the State of New York.

Just steps away from the Stonewall Inn, in the West Village, stands St. John’s Lutheran Church (81 Christopher St.), where Rev. Mark Erson began serving as pastor on August 1, 2011—a week after the Marriage Equality Act took effect. He had followed the footsteps of his father, a Lutheran pastor on Staten Island.

St. John’s is an example of an inclusive congregation with an open door policy and a “diverse community of faith that seeks to share the love of Jesus” according to the church’s website, and welcomes “gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, their spouses, partners and their families.”

Rev. Erson performed his first same-sex marriage with an out-of-state lesbian couple on Labor Day weekend of 2011. Two months later, he married his high school sweetheart, Scott Jordan, at St. John’s, with Rev. Amandus Derr, from Saint Peter’s Church in Midtown East, presiding.

On Nov. 26, 2011, St. John’s Lutheran Church’s Pastor Mark Erson (left) married Scott Jordan (right) in St. John’s, with Rev. Amends Derr, (from Saint Peter’s Church in Midtown East) presiding. | Photo by Michael Appling

Since many same-sex couples cannot find a priest in their own church to marry them, Erson has married couples from other Christian denominations than Lutheran—including straight couples—because they support the openness in tandem with a faith-based ceremony.

“I have the responsibility to a Christian understanding of God and to use the appropriate language in marriage ceremonies,” he told Chelsea Community News, stating the distinction of his service.

A wedding package may include Erson readying the couple for marriage and officiating the ceremony, use of the sanctuary, and a music director for organ or piano. Preparation includes thinking through issues pairs have not considered since falling in love—especially newer couples—such as communication, goal setting, and how to fight in a loving manner.

“People say they learn some things about themselves in the process,” Erson told Chelsea Community News.

There are many other examples of houses of worship that welcome same-sex couples for marriage ceremonies, confirming that religion and LGBTQ+ people can coexist.

 

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