BY MICHAEL MUSTO | I’m generally adept at drawing out my interview subjects, because I’m a pretty good listener and besides, I project a sort of passivity which enables the stars to unburden me with their most private truths. I love the whole process, with me posing insouciant questions, then sitting back and letting them rip. But there have been times when the magic didn’t happen, and I failed to spark a response. Any response. In fact, my questions—or perhaps my mere presence—sent the celebrity into total shutdown mode and time seemed to stand still. I’m always perversely amused when something about me makes them go beyond the point of even saying, “No comment.” They’d rather say nothing!

And so: Here are 20 instances (some of which I’ve mentioned before) where I stunned a famous blabbermouth into pleading the Fifth:

MARTIN SCORSESE | At a film party, I tried to corner the great director for a quick quote, but after he said “Hi, Michael,” he kept skedaddling away from me, looking panicked. I thought, “Wow! He not only knows who I am, he’s read my stuff!”

SAM SHEPARD | I was brought over to meet the playwright/actor at a luncheon promoting a bad movie he was in. I didn’t know what to say—since the movie was so meh—so I asked something desperate about his preparation for the role. Just because I had to say something. “You call that a question?” he responded. Gee, I don’t know. You call that an answer?

DOLLY PARTON | I had interviewed the country queen before, and it was delightful; it’s no shock that the woman is rich with personality. A later phone interview was also fun, until I asked her what’s the worst story the tabloids have ever written about her. Perhaps Dolly didn’t want to delve into “sensitive” territory, but she pretty much rapped up the interview and said we should talk again later, any time I wanted, lol!

NANCY GRACE | I asked the fiery TV personality if she really is a pit bull, as she’d been called. She totally froze and wouldn’t answer. I guess “Yes” wouldn’t be quite right and “No” might be offensive to pit bulls.

JOHN HURT | I asked the British actor about his propensity for playing weird, evil characters at that point in his career. He wasn’t happy in the least and suddenly turned into a mime. I had obviously hit a nerve. How weird and evil.

CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER | The second I met Plummer, I excitedly asked the Canadian-born Oscar winner about The Sound of Music, one of my all-time favorite films. I didn’t realize he absolutely loathes it. He looked sick and went all speechless on me. I felt like the lonely goatherd as I crawled away in horror, running towards the Alps.

CARROLL BAKER | Thrilled to meet the Oscar-nominated star, I told her I loved the 1970 film A Quiet Place to Kill, a fetching Italian giallo melodrama about double-crossing that she starred in. She glazed over and looked like she was going to spew. It turned out that movie was made in a sad part of Baker’s life, when she had to retreat from Hollywood. This was Christopher Plummer all over again!

MARK RYLANCE | I hovered around the fiery British thesp at a Tony awards after-party, hoping to get a quick quote. A master at facial expressions, he shot daggers at me with his eyes, silently urging me not to come near, so I didn’t. I felt he deserved a whole other Tony just for that performance.

JEAN PAUL GAULTIER | Once so ebullient and friendly, the outrageous French designer started giving me the evil eye and making like a clam. He probably had heard about one of my blind items, lol.

DAVID CASSIDY | I did a phoner with the former teen idol—whom I came of age having a huge crush on—and all was fine, until I dared to ask him about his gay following. I expected a sort of bland “Gays are great” comment, but instead, that was the end of the interview. He suddenly had to go, just like Dolly Parton. The LGBTQ community obviously did not include a “P” for Partridge!

BARBARA FELDON | The Get Smart leading lady (“Agent 99”) is a doll. But her handler at a 2018 autograph convention refused to believe I was legit press, even though I’d done a New York Times spread on that very convention. She wouldn’t let me say hi to Barbara—who was sitting alone!!!

CHRISTINA CRAWFORD | After she did a Q&A where she blithely accused her late mother, Joan Crawford, of killing Joan’s last husband, Alfred Steele, I begged Christina for details on that. She blew me off, because she was trying to sell books at the moment. Another time, Penny Marshall used the same “Selling books right now” excuse, and she was rather condescending about it. Ironically, they both would have sold more books if they had given me a quote.

RICHARD SIMMONS | I interviewed the light-in-the-loafers exercise guru in his trailer, and he was delightful. It seemed like we could have chatted and carried on for hours on end. But once we discovered our shared love of Barbra Streisand and we started singing He Touched Me in harmony, Simmons got nervous—too gay?—and shooed me away. I did cartwheels right out of there.

PATRICK STEWART | On the set of the 1995 movie Jeffrey, I asked Stewart how Trekkies might feel about him playing a gay. There was what felt like a 20-minute pause; I had definitely rendered the man mute. And then, he intoned—with battery acid in his voice—that he had done quite a lot of different parts in his life, thank you. I stammered something in response and wanted to crawl under a rock or maybe get beamed somewhere far away. But to my credit, I never stopped saying “gay” in interviews.

CHLOE SEVIGNY | The talented Chloe has always been delightful. And we were doing fine when I interviewed her after her 2003 movie Brown Bunny had caused a stir. But when I asked her about a particularly graphic scene in the movie—one that was making tabloid headlines—she got nervous and literally ran away. Chloe, come back!

ANDRE LEON TALLEY | I boldly went up to the Vogue icon at Jackie 60 nightclub and said “Hi!” That was so not like me, but I felt impulsive in the moment and went for broke. And it backfired big time. Andre looked at me as if I were a decaying rat, instantly becoming as silent as a Republican under subpoena. Yes, I guess I had penned an item here or there.

SUSAN SARANDON | The Oscar-winning actress looked down and covered her face when I walked by her at a celebrity event. She was going through a transitional period and no doubt wanted no gossips to even look at her, let alone pummel her with questions. I felt like a dead man who kept walking.

MIA FARROW | I was invited to see Mia in a play and come to the after party, where, the publicist implied, I’d get to chat with her. But at the event, the flack kept avoiding me, obviously unable to deliver Mia. I could certainly understand why she was gun shy around the gossip press, though I wasn’t even going to go there; I was hoping to talk movies with her. In any case, I was stunned when, after I was laid off from the Voice in 2013, Mia tweeted in my support!

KRISTEN STEWART | The Twilight star refused the chance to be interviewed by me for a Village Voice cover story, even after a publicist had said it was a definite. Maybe it was because I had briefly interviewed Kristen before, and in my writeup, I mentioned her much-written-about affair with a married man. Or perhaps it was because she knew I would emphasize her newly out queerness. Some stars like to come out and then hope it isn’t mentioned again.

ALSO:

Through the years, publicists have pitched me interviews with various celebs, then weirdly come back with the news that the offer was now a “No.” It’s a truly irritating bait-and-switch that only the lamest flacks engage in. The weirdest incident involved SAOIRSE RONAN at a premiere party. The publicist was going to bring me over to talk to the American-born Irish actress, but I then made the horrid faux pas of asking for the correct pronunciation of her name. I simply didn’t want to embarrass myself—or Saoirse—never imagining that could be a deal breaker. The publicist looked sick and promptly said, “Nope. No interview.” Perhaps she didn’t KNOW the correct pronunciation!

Anyway, if I ever talk to any of you dear readers, please answer me!!!

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Michael Musto is a columnist, pop cultural and political pundit, NYC nightlife chronicler, author, and the go-to gossip responsible for the long-running (1984-2013) Village Voice column, “La Dolce Musto.” His work appears on this website as well as Queerty.com and thedailybeast.com, and he is writing for the new Village Voice, which made its debut in April of 2021. Follow Musto on Instagram via @michaelmusto.

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