BY MICHAEL MUSTO | The Oscars will be held on March 15th, so it’s time to celebrate a variety of well-received films dealing with kidnapping, dementia, and the whooping cough. Sadly, this is also the time I always swoop in and remind everyone of the gaffes that marred the filmmaking process.

My annual honors are basically my answer to the Golden Razzies and sorry, there’s no stopping this ritualistic act of cinematic cock blocking.

And so, here are my annual Gaffie Awards:

MOST OVERDONE TREND: Daddy issues! In One Battle After Another, Sentimental Value, and Hamnet, fathers tortured themselves over their complicated relationships with their offspring, frantically trying to patch up their personal messes. Mamas were freaking out, too—like the effectively shrieking Rose Byrne in If I Had Legs I Would Kick You and post-partum Jeniifer Lawrence in Die My Love. (The latter didn’t even get nominated for her hazy histrionics.) Can we all just do a video conference call, followed by a virtual group hug and some Prozac? 

THE WIZARD OF OZ WAS WAY MORE FUN WHEN: They hated each other.

I LIKED BLUE MOON, BUT DID WE REALLY NEED A WHOLE MOVIE FOCUSED ON LORENZ HART’S LOVE FOR…A woman???

SOMETHING CUSTOMERS APPARENTLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN WHATSOEVER: Learning how Springsteen came up with his legendary Nebraska album. His stuff about Minnesota is way more interesting.

J. LO HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF GETTING BACK WITH BEN AFFLECK ONE MORE TIME THAN….Getting Oscar nominated! In fact, J. Lo has a better chance of getting back with Ben Affleck one more time than even Adam Sandler has of getting Oscar nominated. And he’s good, they just won’t validate him!

MOST UNJUSTLY IGNORED FILM OF THE YEAR: Nouvelle Vague, the meticulously crafted recreation of the making of Jean-Luc Godard’s new wave classic Breathless. The film was so meticulously done it should have prompted parades in the streets, but all it got was one lousy Golden Globe nomination. That’s like getting crabs.

WORST LOSS OF AN OSCAR NOMINEE: Mississippi-born Diane Ladd—the famed three-time Oscar nominee–passed in November. The fiery actress—so memorably real in films like Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore and Wild at Heart—died of respiratory failure, as virtually all of show business (including Laura Dern, her Oscar winning daughter with Bruce Dern) mourned her brilliance. Diane was almost 90, but it was still way too soon. 

SOMEONE, PLEASE CHECK THE WEATHER CHANNEL AND SEE IF HELL’S FROZEN OVER: After all, Delroy Lindo finally bagged a nomination (for Sinners)! At last, the great actor has received his due. In fact, they nominated everything about Sinners except the harmonica.

I’M GLAD SONG SUNG BLUE WASN’T TITLED If I Had Legs I Would Still Sing Neil Diamond

SCARIEST SETTING: The liquor store in Weapons. Have you ever seen that much booze in your life? How did you survive it?

Horrified enough? Good. Then please join me as we scream like Jessie Buckley while enduring another childbirth (followed by more coughs) and head for the exits.

See you at the Oscars!

And the Winners of Gaffie Awards Past Are…

Clicxk Here for the February 27, 2025 Gaffie Awards

Click Here for the March 6, 2024 Gaffie Awards

Click Here for the March 9, 2023 Gaffie Awards

Click Here for the March 20, 2022 Gaffie Award

MICHAEL MUSTO | Musto is a columnist, pop cultural and political pundit, NYC nightlife chronicler, author, and the go-to gossip responsible for the long-running (1984-2013) Village Voice column, “La Dolce Musto.” His work appears on ChelseaCommunityNews.comas well as thedailybeast.com, and he is writing for the Village Voice(which debuted in April of 2021) and RAG Magazine (which debuted in October of 2025). Follow Musto on Instagram, via @michaelmusto.

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