BY MICHAEL MUSTO | Even though a lot of today’s drag queens steer away from punny names, I think it’s important to emphasize those types of appellations because they’re just so damned hilarious, and there’s so much history behind them too.

Well, I’ve given you the best such noms de plumage before, and now I’ve cooked up (and culled) a whole new batch of them, and I’ve included drag kings too. Here’s what I think the queens and kings should be called.

DRAG QUEEN NAMES

Aloe Vera

Angela Transbury

Arlene Cuisine

Bai Lingual

Bella DaBall

Bipolar Abdul (an actual person)

Blood Flo

Carte Blanche

Christian Martyr

Cleopatrick

Cody Pendant

Crimea River

Deena Discipline

Dolly Lama

Dominant Jeane (another real person)

Enema Crackers

Etta Mommy

Freesia Ballzoff

Gail Warning

Genna Side

Gigi Barnum

Ginger Chicken

Gladys Negative

Gnu Rochelle

Halle Tosis

Hilary Muff

Ina Kleina

Ivana Proper-Burial

Ivy Drip

Jean Genie

Jo Mama

Joy Luck

Katy Did

Kay O’Pectate

Kaye Pasa

Kirsten Dunce

Laura DaLand

Mara Lago

Marcia Gay Hardon

Marsha Law

Mary Mount

Mercedes Bends

Mira Crack’d

Miriam Webster

Miss Ann Thrope

Molly Ringworm

Myrtle Avenue

Natalie Would

NoLita Holloway

Odia Thinkso

Old Gray Mare

Paris Original

Peppa Steak

Petra von Kunt

Pia Yourpants

Pfizer Minnelli

Poly Relationship

Pro Joyce

Raisa Red Lantern

Renee Phleming

Rhonda Santis (This one was on a popular meme)

Rita Tofilth (and of course, her cousin, Rhetta Tofilth)

Ruth Less

Sari Wrong-Number

Scarlet Ibis

Sheila Bortya

Shirley Not

Spring Fever

Stephanie J. Cockblock

Summer Clearance

Sybil War

Tamara Never-Dies

Tiffany Lamps

Tracy N. Hepburn

Urethra Franklin

Vadge the Manicurist

Vestal Parkway

Vestal Virgin

Violet Behavior

DRAG KING NAMES

Abel N. Willing

Beto Blockers

Carson Ogenic

Clark County

Clay Pigeons

Colin Oscopy

Devlin Miss Jones

Franco File

Hugh Rang

Ivan Ho

Jess Kidding

Lime Ricky

Mike Drop

Neil Down

Nico Time

Perv Griffin

Power Serge

Ringo Fire

River Wild

Rock Bottom

Warren Piece

Will N. Testament

Yul B. Sorry

Yul B. Swell

BEST COUPLE NAME

Sam and Janet Evening

 

 

 

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